Thursday, November 7, 2013

Something I'm Looking Forward To

Well, I actually look forward to lots of things. But one thing I can't wait for is getting rid of Beavercreek unCooperative Telephone. If you like being connected to things like phone, TV, and Internet, I strongly advise you to forget about the whole "back to the basics," living in the country thing.

For starters, if you're stupid enough to have a BCT telephone, you know that EVERYWHERE is long distance. Except Beavercreek. Which consists of a diner, a saloon, a veterinarian, a car mechanic, two convenience stores, an empty piece of land where people sell old cars and RVs, and a post office. This is not a bustling 'burb, nor does it need to be since we are three miles from Oregon City and about 15 from Portland.

This phone thing bugged me so much that I bugged them. I called about every week asking if I still had to have a phone. See, the deal with small towns is this: If you want Internet and cable TV, you have to have a phone. Or at least you did. I think my calling on a regular basis tipped the scales. Anyway, a year or two ago they let us get rid of the telephone which was only used by salesmen and politicians.

Now, I've never had cable TV in my life, but out here you have no choice. Well, I guess you could shoot your TV, but if you want to see NCIS and get your news from John Stewart and Steven Colbert, you have to have cable. Because there's no freakin' TV here either.

Which brings me to the Internet. I have to have Internet in order to work. But I really object to paying high speed prices for dial-up service. Oh, it's not really dial up. But it sure feels that way.

Because I'm a night owl, I often work late at, well, duh, night. Which is when all the crooks in our little hamlet (smallest municipal designation in the's a real thing, not just the name of a play) run Torrents. Which, you may have guessed by my crafty use of the word "crooks," is illegal. I once asked the guys on night support (who I have on speed dial) why this was allowed. It's illegal. Why do they get to degrade service so I can't watch reruns of Warehouse 13, while I still get charged a ridiculous amount of money for the slowest service in the state. Upshot, they still run Torrents, but I did get our level of service increased while we paid the lower rate.

So what am I looking forward to? Real Internet. Yep, something that doesn't stutter through every dang show we try to watch. Something that runs 24 hours a day instead of crapping out on me around midnight when all the crooks come out.

Anyway, enough whining.

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